DAMNING THE BALLYHOO ON....BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT

So another season of Britain's Got Talent has drawn to a close with a bit of a sting in the tail. I daresay that I am not the only poor sucker who lost a wedge of cash betting on that Ann Widdecombe lookalike to win by a landslide. Anyway, I will come back to her another time, my main gripe is with the show in general.

I don't watch the show that much so I may not be in the best position to judge (as it were) but I will start with the judges themselves. Simon Cowell, as much as he splits opinion, is a bit of a legend in my eyes, so he will escape my tirade. He has taken some of Britain's worst talents and made millions out of them and so for that he commands my total and utter respect. Examples include Robson and Jerome and those utter w*nkers Westlife. I have to admit it is pretty hilarious to see Simon's Cowell's eyes positively light up with pound signs everytime he sees a worthwhile talent

However, Amanda Holden? How on earth has she managed to get on that panel? Let's be honest, she is an attractive woman but what other "talent" does she really possess? All women on these panels always seem so bland and pointless, always sitting on the fence and bursting into tears at the slightest hint of someone battling against the odds or being able to sing more than one note in tune. Please, pass me the sick bucket. The only thing Amanda Holden is really famous for is for being the source of one of the most debated pub questions of all time...how did Les Dennis manage to be on top of that for the best part of 10 years? Perhaps we should ask those people who take part in those Family Fortunes surveys. In this case, I think the most common response would be "Our survey said....MONEY!". Let's get Amanda off and please have someone more credible.

Then we have Piers Morgan, a guy who monumentally cocked up being Editor of the Mirror in pretty comical and spectacular fashion (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3716151.stm) only to then land some stupid TV show where he interviewed people who also cocked up their careers and also landed on their feet (I still to this day am not sure if the irony was actually deliberate). How can this guy be in a position to judge any sort of talent and have the cheek to slag anyone off? What a joke.

The other thing that annoys me with the show is the repetitive, boring hype we hear every week:

"They better step up their game or else they are on their way out" accompanied by stupid close ups and a crescendo of Mozart (or something like that). Once every now and then is ok, but it gets pretty boring when you see it every week, lets be honest here. The format is more tiresome than watching two bald men fight over a comb.


Then we have pointless Geordies Ant 'n' Dec (where does 'n' reside I wonder?) who possibly look as they could mould into eachother at any time forming one super Geordie. Are these guys seriously not that bothered that they wear the same clothes as each other every week? I am personally horrified if I walk into a nightclub and find that someone is wearing the same item of clothing, let alone the whole caboodle. And these guys probably get dressed right next to each other! What a pair of idiots. Go back to Byker Grove please lads and give Jeff and Spuggie a helping hand

Let's be honest guys, if this show really is the best of British, then I think we really are all in trouble