If I was to ask you to name the best thing about Theo Walcott the chances are that you would probably say that it's his fit girlfriend. Now, I am not sure of her name exactly but I know that she is hot stuff, and no doubt that you have all had that argument as to whether she is legal or not..but that's another story.Anyway, back to the point in hand which is that Theo Walcott is possibly one of the most hyped players around in the Premiership at the moment. Now, I am going to cut the lad some slack, as he is only around 20 years old, but I don't think I am the only person who is beginning to wonder if he really is going to live up to the £12m price tag which Arsenal splashed out on him a few years ago.
Walcott has been dubbed the "new Henry" in some quarters, which is quite frankly ludicrous. I think the tag came after he scored a typcial Henry sidefoot finish, which the Frenchman executed on many an occasion. To even begin comparing him with the great man is utterly hilarious and hasn't been helped after the little winger bagged a hat trick for England against Croatia a few months back.
Walcott could be described as a poor man's Aaron Lennon, which is no exaggeration at the moment. I honestly don't think I can say that I have ever seen Walcott finish a game he has started and that is not a wind up. After Lennon handed out a lesson to Evra a few weeks ago, everyone thought that Walcott would do even more damage in the Champs League Semi, especially as a booking for Evra would mean him missing the final. Result? Evra having Walcott in his pocket for the whole game and leading Walcott to be substituted (again).
Theo is decent player, don't get me wrong but it seems to me his best position is substitute. His best performances have come against teams on their last legs, or with 10 men, perfect for him to exploit. But can that really justify spending £12m on a player just for 15 minutes a game? That's like paying a porn star just to finish off and letting some other mug do the legwork before him.
As a starter, Walcott's decision making is worse than George W Bush and delivery is poorer than Royal Mail when they are on strike. He was bought with the idea of being a striker but I don't think he has ever actually played in that position, not even in League Cup games. It doesn't look like he has the stature or temparement to become a front man, which might be down to the fact he has yet to reach puberty , perhaps the explanation for those sideburns he likes to draw on his face.
Anyway Theo keep your chin up and be smug at the fact that half the nation have probably spanked their monkey over your missus (her name is Melanie Slade I can now confirm thanks to Google- and she is 18...high five!). But is he fit to lace Mr Va Va Voom's boots? I don't think so
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