I was reading a copy of GQ the other day, sat on the toilet in my flat, thumbing through the top 50 best dressed men in the UK. Being the loser that I am, I went through all the way from number 50 to number 1 in the hope of creating a small amount of excitement and maybe, just maybe inheriting an ounce of style from these so called fashion gurus. Anyway, as I was making my way through I was somewhat surprised to see some of the names in the lower echelons, names such as Clive Owen, Daniel Craig, Tom Ford and even “Goldenballs “himself, David Beckham. As these names rolled past I realised that the guy at the number 1 spot must be a not so obvious name, perhaps a model or designer I had never heard of. So imagine my shock when I turned the page to find that none other than Mark Ronson had somewhat inexplicably made it to the top of the list. And who had endorsed his position at the top of the chart? None other than Matthew Horne, half of desperately unfunny duo Horne and Corden (but that can wait for another time). I was so outraged, I used the page to wipe my arse.
Mark Ronson rated as the best dressed man in the UK? I have 2 words for you. F*CK OFF. I have seen better dressed guys walking down my local street and that includes the beggars who inhabit the area by my local pub. Oooooh, look at the why i inexplicably throw on some vintage old tattered garments from portobello market, in a way that no one has ever done before, what an innovator. The hype surrounding this guy is just ridiculous. A few years ago, his albums were bombing and most people would have classed him as an American, no Brit would have ever heard of him. An album of covers later and he is now one of the most sought after names in the music industry and people think he is as British as Pimms and Lemonade.
I am not going to lie; I bought the album Version out of intrigue and thought it was a decent listen. But the publicity it generated was outrageous. Most of the tunes he remixed sounded almost identical to the original and he wasn’t doing anything radical here. The song “Apply Some Pressure” even had the same guy of Maximo Park singing the vocals. If I went to Jay Z “I am going to remix Big Pimpin, except put a drum and beat sound to it”, would that really be that hard? Doesn’t take a huge amount of talent really does it? I could do that using VirtualDJ for Christ’s sake.
Every time I open the London Paper I see this guy’s smug face as he leaves some fancy West End Club or Restaurant. I COULD NOT GIVE A SH*T. Please stop wasting your column space with this man, because he really is not that important.
Now, as one final footnote, I would like you all to go away and see if you you can name more than one original Mark Ronson song (and by the way...Ooooh Wee does not count). I rest my case.
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